Santa in drink driving, speeding horror

Filed under: Humour It’s not often you can get the Institute of Advanced Motorists to comment on Santa getting the boot, but we have. We asked the organisation to comment on a story in The Telegraph detailing Father Christmas’ Christmas Eve in numbers. The Telegraph calculated that Santa has to visit around 700,000,000 sleeping children in around 233,000,000 houses over a distance of 212,030,000 miles in a 32-hour stint. Now, taking those numbers in to account ‘ol Santa will have to travel at around 6,650,897.72mph. Which is way over the limit everywhere on planet earth bar a few stretches in Germany and the Mulsanne Straight. Already he’s broken several laws in regard to commercial driving. Forgetting the speed, a 32-hour stint behind the deer isn’t going to be that good for you, as the IAM noted. “It’s a good thing Father Christmas is self-employed,” one of their elves commented. “If a commercial driver tried this, he’d get the sack.” The other point raised was just how much Santa drinks . Each of the 233 million houses he visits will, traditionally, leave him a glass of sherry. With one 50ml portion of sherry being around one unit, he’s going to be imbibing a fair bit. The numbers say he’ll be around 50 million times over the drink drive limit . But, let’s remember – Santa isn’t a commercial driver. Or even human. Our laws (legislated or physical) don’t apply to him now, do they? Source: The Telegraph  

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Santa in drink driving, speeding horror